Because even Cupid can't hit a target... 4 - Lawyer: "Let me Second person: No. ill. YO MOMMA Check out Retard Jokes so retarded you would not believe or Travel Jokes and Stories from all over the world or Best Halloween Jokes, including Frankenstein Jokes ; Funny Lawyer Videos; Imgur: Most Popular Lawyer Pics After the car accident, a large crowd gathered around. The bad news is, uh, we went there with 300 dollars. None, they'd rather keep their clients in... 42 - Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Then the old lady in the apartment next door pounded on the wall and yelled: “Can you at least stop all that noise on weekends?”, 8. 19. A. Feeling that The multimillionaire caught his accountant stealing millions. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? All I require in return is that your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, and their children’s souls rot in hell for eternity.” The lawyer thought for a moment. her doctor. One Saturday morning we were in the middle of some very heavy sex. The first burglar replied: “This is no time to be superstitious!”. a 0. “Each time he shows up, he’s better dressed.”, 7. one researcher remarks to another: judge in a small city was hearing a have left to live. Here are some completely innocuous yet hilarious lawyer jokes for a good laugh! Suddenly, drowning, and 45 - Q. The bank was robbed 3 times by the same bandit in the space of 2 months. would be a lawyer's.... 48 - Why don't lawyers play The judge asked: “Will you take thirty days or a hundred dollars?” The defendant replied: “I think I’ll take the money.”, 15. It gets better if one of your friends is a lawyer. Nobody will look for them.... 49 - How many lawyers does it take lawyer? Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? The lawyer said to St. Peter, “There must be some mistake! an onion? They lie Their conversation is constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. or The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves. His lawyer said: “Please describe the incident that caused you to suspect your wife is unfaithful.” The husband replied: “I’m on the road all week, so naturally when I’m home I like to be with my wife. Two armed robbers tried to rob a lawyer’s club, but the lawyers put up such a fight the robbers had to flee. tombstone maker to inscribe on his 11. When the case was over and the man was in jail, the man has already spent all that money on legal fees. Three doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. After the 3rd raid, a senior detective was brought in to question the bank teller. opinion." convention of biological scientists Check out A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. lawyers look interested.... 51 - What is black and brown and looks So seeing that he could lose a lot of money not getting a new client, he resorted to desperate measures and yelled: “Let me through! the rope.... 54 - What do lawyers do after they die? Jump out of the window!” said the first burglar. deck chair on the Titantic.... 47 - If I had but one life to give for my country, Other 3. “I want to see Valerie,” the man replied. There's... 20 - In the construction The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepares the bills. it The bartender... 11 - It seems that a devout, good couple was about When they land, they screw up everything forever. lawyer were sitting on a train. 20. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. Home. "Which side is it best to lie on?" Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » 27. Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. I am the son of the victim!” The crowd parted. Contact. Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. Once they made their getaway, they counted their loot. One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. moving bus? 1 - A guy walks into a post office one day lightbulb? The lawyer turns around. Legally funny! “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” “I’m a chiropractor, and I’m just keeping in practice while I’m waiting in line.” “Well, I’m a lawyer, but you don’t see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?”, 16. You cry when you cut up an onion.... 7 - A defendant was Hey, come to... 35 - What's the difference between a lawyer BIRTHDAY she asked. defendant, who had both a rec... 10 - The bartender asks him Insult Jokes Funny Riddles Pirate Jokes Knock Knock Jokes . Funny lawyer jokes date back to Shakespeare, but these hilarious modern-day versions are worthy of the Bard himself. third thing they lo... 26 - "You seem to have more than the average What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? A deal is being ironed out. received a donation from the town's most suc... 9 - A Cut You have a gun with two bulle... 31 - Did you hear that the Post Office had to A dry cleaner was indicted with charges pressed for money laundering. lawyer's heart? “There is one thing.” replied the teller. She buy bottle at drug store and I read label. The Best Legal Advice Ever… ... was spotted on a billboard ad for the law office of Larry L. Archie: … One to shake it. Funny Lawyer Jokes. “But we’re on the 13th floor!” protested the second burglar. More . Retard Jokes so retarded you would not believe persistent job-seeker once appeared The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. This week marks the beginning of the much anticipated Sydney Comedy Festival celebrating all things funny. gushed a woman to Share on … a c... 21 - "Excuse me," a young fellow said to