money and may push them to the (Its a SPECIFIC path. In addition to those practical benefits, computer technology helps children to do their homework faster. A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. All rights reserved. ( Log Out /  For example, books and gaming accessories help them to build their cognitive skills and make them physically active. She gave me a small red box and said that: “This is my special gift for you. You’ve deviated from the topic. Also, it is difficult to guess someone’s choice and requirement at a particular time. There are numerous GR and LR issues in this essay. IELTS Essay Correction: Give Gifts To Show Care. This will increase the cohesion score. A child can find an advertisement on the Internet about a job offer or he or she can make a resume and place it on the Internet. Let us discuss.) Similarly, the size, shape, and design of earrings keep changing every few months and so does a teenage girl’s preferences. judge (figure out) a teenager’s preference in clothing. While appreciate means expressing gratitude for something, appreciable means something significant (huge, considerable). Okay! However, in my opinion, other gifts are more appreciable (Oops! Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. Copyright © 2013 - 2020 IELTS Mentor. EXPLAIN the idea before moving to the next idea. IELTS Essay Evaluation: Rapid Expansion Of Supermarkets. – 2) because they act as a token to remember and prevent the teenagers to from misuse money. Discuss both views and give your opinion including relevant examples. …. Moreover, children can learn by use of computers. The point is. Plus, you’ve mentioned an idea but you’ve not explained it. (Please note there are better words to express your views. the memories and are (parallelism issue. It’s detrimental. Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice. beneficial for the a (article mistake. (Bad explanation – 5) Consequently, the uncertainty of children’s likes and to adapt the important trait leads people to give cash as a present. (EXPLANATION in the next two sentences) For instance, my sister accumulated the gifted money for several years to purchase a piano and now she is a famous musician. Finally, computer skills can help a child to find his or her first job. The point is “How does a monetary gift help a teenager learn the habit of saving money?” Moreover, monetary gifts build the valuable habit of saving money. A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. With the a rapid change in fashion, for instance, it is hard to estimate (estimate is used for things that can be quantified.) Let us discuss. Tagged as: answer correction, correction, Essay Checking, essay writing, gift, IELTS, IELTS essay correction, IELTS essay correction India, IELTS task 2, IELTS writing, money, money best gift, teenagers. 1. This is maybe (1) they can buy anything of their choice and learn money-saving skills. IELTS Letter Evaluation: A Problem At Work. Let us combine the two sentences. teenagers. can always recall (Presents can’t recall. “There has been an appreciable change in the number of Covid-19 patients in the last 24 hours.”, Many teenagers feel happy to receive the (this is not SPECIFIC money. (IDEA EXPLAINED. …. Be very specific while writing an example: With rapidly changing fashion trends, for instance, it is hard to judge whether a teenager prefers a plain jean or a ripped one. See – 3.) Second of all, computers help children to learn more about anything by use of Internet. IELTS Essay Evaluation: Year Off Between School And University. This will build cohesion in your answer), (this needs to be an adjective. IELTS Writing Task 2/ IELTS Essay: You should spend more than 40 minutes on this task. IELTS Essay Correction: Money Is The Best Gift. IELTS Essay Correction: Problems With Student Behaviour. Why? So, make sure you read all paragraphs. You’ve deviated from the topic. It was a thick book. Please read my article on the Rules of Parallelism. LR issue. 1. "IELTS Sample Answer & IELTS Preparation". (Can you guess why these are incorrect? Also, it will not score well on TR since you’ve not developed the arguments. (TEACHES and ENABLES follows the Rules of Parallelism. IELTS Essay Evaluation: Doctors, Nurses and Teachers VS Entertainers and Sportspersons. Now pick the second idea – GROWTH. LR issue. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Can you guess why?) Let us combine the two sentences. They act as a bond, for example, between parents and children, and between siblings. What is the nature of effect? This will build cohesion in your answer) can have detrimental (this needs to be an adjective. I hope you will love it”. Also, children have a great opportunity to learn more about other countries, their history, traditions and customs. This will increase the cohesion score. So, if I had a chance to give a child a gift it would be a computer. Teenagers usually have a wishlist that they rarely share with their parents. But on my 21th birthday, I received a special gift from my best friend. IELTS Essay Evaluation: Music Vs Science in Schools. You are not talking about SPECIFIC teenagers – the teenagers in the age group of 11 to 13.) Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. While appreciate means expressing gratitude for something, appreciable means something... 3. LR issue.) They can use the preserved money during their bad times. (This is NOT an example – 4) Secondly, they can learn the valuable habit of saving the (the same mistake) money. (Let us re-write the sentence: Unlike money, presents such as a toy have emotional value as they help a person recall valuable memories. Teenagers usually have a wishlist that they rarely share with their parents. ), (There is no need to write the last sentence.). money it (let us use a pronoun to refer back to money. On the other hand, I think that gifts other than money (= non-monetary gifts) are more beneficial for the teenagers.