Even lawyers like to laugh and there are a lot of aspects of legal practice that are ripe for a little deadpan humor. Lawyer Jokes All rise for these funny lawyer jokes and attorney jokes. “Not everyone in California has one of those.”. If you decide that something is funny, it is for you. Do truckers prefer houses with long haul ways? Here are three hilarious anecdotes about lawyers. A: Take your foot off his head. You start out with two million. Andrew Helling is the founder and editor of REthority.com. Funny Stuff for Lawyers and Law Students http://bit.ly/1qhIRPv Discover the NEW Law Business Model - Be the Best Lawyer (and person) you Can Be. A good laugh is always important, especially in a high-stress profession. After all, he is the world’s best theft detective. Q: What are lawyers good for? Whether you’re guilty or innocent, our law puns, legal puns and law school jokes will make you laugh even in court. Let’s face it — you have a stressful job. REthority: Real Estate Guides, News, and More. — Best Lawyer Jokes (@bestlawyersjoke) January 6, 2016 Where there is a will there is a lawsuit.Addison Mizner #lawsuit #best #jokes — Best Lawyer Jokes … Make sure to also check out our other resources while you’re here! Settle, Plea Bargain, Lie, Beg, Plead Insanity? What do I have to do in return?”, The Devil smiles slyly and says, “Obviously, you have to give me your soul. Funny Lawyer Jokes. 47. Too many closings to keep up with? Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? “There are four other companies after me.” “Oh really?” asked the manager. A real estate investor was surprised to see all of his houses had been broken into. These handsome heavy metal desktop devices, designed to help legal professionals make that all-imp... "No, your honor. “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. In fact, I can make you the greatest agent that ever walked the Earth.” The real estate agent likes the sound of this and asks the Devil, “That sounds good. The other 10% hate your carpeting. Some are indecent. Funny lawyer jokes date back to Shakespeare, but these hilarious modern-day versions are worthy of the Bard himself. His rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home. I have lots to be thankful for. They ride along for a while through beautiful heavenly scenery, and pull up in front of a lovely English cottage with a thatched roof and a rose trellis. “I need a raise in my commission,” the Realtor said to her Managing Broker. The 25 Funniest Real Estate Jokes Ever Written. A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move. Is the down payment to buy an apartment a condo-minimum? Then he took the remaining one with him to see homes with the Real Estate Agent. #49 – 40. The information included in this post is for informational purposes only and should not be taken as legal or financial advice. Here is a Gift To Help Your Attorney With Those Important Legal Decisions!What should you do?? #lawyer #quotes Everyone wants to say they hate lawyers, and yet I've never met a parent who didn't want their kid to be a lawyer. When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home. So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on. 50. A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.” — Anonymous , Lawyer Joke Collection Tagged: Lawyer Jokes , God , Real estate Agents An old man was on his death bed. He graduated from the University of Nebraska at Omaha where he obtained a Finance and Banking degree. Real Estate Lawyers at 1095 W. Rio Salado Parkway, Suite 206, Tempe, AZ 85281 Real estate attorneys serving the Phoenix metropolitan area in transactions, litigation, appeals, bankruptcy, cell tower easements, title insurance, arbitration, and mediation. If there’s one thing he does best, it’s that he Sherlocks Holmes. The Mayo Clinic found in a recent study that laughter relieves stress, increases your oxygen intake, and increases endorphin activity. You have successfully joined our subscriber list. “What other companies are after you?”, “The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.”. In fact, I can make you the greatest agent that ever walked the Earth.”, The real estate agent likes the sound of this and asks the Devil, “That sounds good. My realtor sold me a two story house…one story before the sale, and another after. Taller. Why did God invent lawyers? A: Three, One to climb the ladder. I finally figured out how to make a million dollars in the real estate business. End of story. And, what’s the harm in having a corny joke to tell at the water cooler? A lawyer and the Pope die on the same day and go up to heaven. The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles. As a formerly licensed real estate agent and property manager of 500 single-family homes, Andrew knows real estate. He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, “How many children do you have?”, The lawyer answered, with a sad look, “They are in the cemetery with their mother.”. The Devil appears to a real estate agent one day and says to him, “Listen, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any other real estate agent in the world. A small real estate broker was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read, Best Agents. And that’s the way he was able to rent a home for his family without lying. Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? You’ve heard that one, along with a million other lawyer jokes that people have sprung on you from the moment you first announced you were going to school to be a paralegal. However, sometimes they can be the butt of the joke. I’m no photographer, but I can picture you in this house. Dec 31, 2016 - Explore Gina Matthiesen's board "Law and Real Estate Humor" on Pinterest. One to shake it. A few are obscene. So, he had an idea: he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. Some of them probably even get told around the law office. When it comes to humor, everyone is his or her own judge. The younger generation’s dream is to get one. From the number of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean being ‘a good start’ to the question of ‘how many of lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb’, we decided to make a list of every lawyer joke we could find (even those that had very little to do with a lawyer), tallying up 214 jokes that make us facepalm, shake our heads, giggle and outright laugh. See more ideas about Humor, Legal humor, Lawyer jokes. What’s black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? Like our real estate jokes? He was about to open the door when a car sped by and bashed into the door, ripping it off. What way too few judges say at the end of court cases. The Best Legal Advice Ever… ... was spotted on a billboard ad for the law office of Larry L. Archie: … The Devil appears to a real estate agent one day and says to him, “Listen, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any other real estate agent in the world. A: The lawyer charges more. And one to sue the ladder company. “Honey, tell me about your day at work.”. Long Tour of Duty. …. After all, stress relief from laughter is no joke. As I … A lawyer was heading home from the office and approached his BMW. If you don’t, it’s not. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me,” he said. My bread and butter are listings with finished basements. A great lawyer knows the judge. Why didn’t the hipster real estate agent show the oceanside mansion? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. They’re my best cellars! If you owe the bank 300 grand, that’s the bank’s problem. The older generation’s dream was to pay off the mortgage. From dad jokes to punny favorites, bookmark these hilarious ditties to break the ice at your next open house with our favorite real estate jokes from around the web.